A bittersweet day that made me proud

Last Saturday I felt very proud to be an AFCB fan. I know we lost but there were off field events that had me leaving the ground on Saturday very proud of our club and all in it and yes in this instance from the very top down. I had the honour of hosting lunch with Mark Ovendale’s widow and their sons at the clubs invitation. A simple request turned into a joint initiative that worked perfectly on the day, despite several nerves! This blog is basically to describe how it all came about & a warning now it is positive!


About a month ago football fans were rocked with the news that Mark Ovendale had been diagnosed with cancer. The Friends of Dean Court immediately contacted the club asking if we could have a collection for the hospice Mark was in out of respect for Mark. I was contacted by Neil Vacher, who said the club would like to do something longer term than a one off collection so between us we decided to open the Just Giving page for the Mark Ovendale Appeals. I spoke with Mark’s wife Rhianon, as we wanted her permission to set up Appeals in Mark’s name as well as to discuss what charities Mark wished us to support in his name. She discussed it with Mark and phoned me back with a choice of 4 charities, we chose 2 and started up the Appeals, endorsed by the club and most importantly imo Mark himself. Sadly a few days later Mark lost his fight against cancer. I spoke to Rhianon a few times during that time and she told me that the Appeals had given Mark peace of mind that his wish to use his illness to raise wider spread awareness of this horrible disease and to raise funds to fight it was already being carried out.

We all know the pleasure that Mark gave thousands of football fans during his life; this is his legacy after his sad death. I was one of many present at DC when the minute’s applause was held. A few days later I received a phone call from Dave Roberts, associate director at AFCB, he was aware that I was in contact with Rhi because of the just giving appeals and asked if I could help the club out with inviting Mark’s widow and children to a game. I assumed, as it turns out wrongly, that I would be used purely as a go between and was happy to help out. We decided on the Hartlepool game, as it was the day after the Friends of Dean Court quiz and it gave enough time for Dave to really plan a special day. I was surprised then to receive a further phone call from Dave inviting me to have a meeting regarding the day, as he wanted my input.

I met with Dave and spoke with Eddie Mitchell via phone ahead of the meeting. Eddie told me that he and his young daughter Jessica hade been walking around the pitch the day after the minutes applause and had stopped to look at the flowers laid for Mark. Knowing Mark had been a goalkeeper he & Jessica repositioned the flowers, one lot each side of the goalmouth, using the holes where the posts go as a makeshift vase and a 3rd lot in the centre circle. A few days later whilst he & Dave were tending to club business they noticed that the flowers were now dead in a corner & removed the cards. Dave read one of the cards and was very touched by it & decided there and then that he wanted to do something for the children, in the discussion that followed between them Eddie told Dave to arrange a special day as he saw fit.

Following Dave’s call, I went to meet him and we chatted about the quiz and the match day plans. I received a lot of support from Dave in particular with the quiz, he promised Friends of Dean Court a couple of raffle prizes as well as some smaller prizes for quiz teams, which I was able to pick up a few days later. He also ensured that we received advertising for the quiz on COWS. We then discussed the match day and what the club wanted to do on the day to ensure that it was special for Mark’s children. What started as a simple conversation quickly turned into a joint effort, I think we perhaps all surprised each other with our passion both for the charity effort and our desire to ensure Mark’s family received a real warm AFCB welcome and a day they could look back on fondly.

It was easier than I thought it would be talking to both Dave & Eddie, we weren’t talking club business which fans & board often disagree on, we were talking charity and honouring an ex player, we found we shared a common ground. Prior to this I had never met Dave & whilst Eddie knew who I was we had never really had more than a brief conversation along the lines of good game today, ref was crap today or similar! There was the expected distrust between fan and board member, we didn’t know each other personally and needed to find a way to start building a working relationship and some trust between us. Dave & Eddie both learned that fans are not all just about “why aren’t we signing the next Pele”, they learned not only are we passionate about our club but using that to the benefit & good of others. I learned that they are not just about saying no you can’t have the next Pele because he costs too much! I will admit I was surprised by both of their passion to get this day right, as I believe they were mine.

Dave & I spoke a few more times via phone and finally had a schedule for the day we felt fitting and that Dave knew he would be able to pull off. We agreed that the day was about the children and decided we wanted to keep it as low key as possible. It was more important for the children to be able to relax and enjoy it than be paraded around making them feel like an exhibit. I was shocked to be asked by Dave to host the lunch on the clubs behalf, I had an existing relationship with Rhianon and Dave felt that the family in general would feel more comfortable with it being less formal. The directors would all play their part as well, I had all of their support & I knew that if I felt it wasn’t going right then one of them would step in and take over from me. It was unchartered territory for all of us. There were a few last minute nerves, panic something would go wrong but we weathered them!

I woke up Saturday buzzing from the success of the quiz night and both exited and nervous about the day ahead. It doesn’t feel natural going to football in a suit, football is jeans and replica shirts not suits to me but Saturday was different. I had a responsibility on behalf of the club and us fans to ensure that Rhianon and the boys received a warm welcome. The last time I saw Rhianon was about 11 years ago, her oldest son had been a mere toddler at the time & the younger one wasn’t even a twinkling back then!

Upon arrival Holly informed me that Rhianon, her mum Linda, step dad Ray & Jacob & Evan had not long arrived and had been taken upstairs to the restaurant. Off I went to join them, with Dave hot on my heels. Introductions and the initial welcome were made and Dave ran through the itinerary for the day. Dave went off to find Danny from the community sports trust who had been allocated to look after the boys at various stages of the day. While he was gone we discussed the quiz night and the Just giving appeals, the journey down from Wales, general relaxed chitchat. Dave returned with Danny who took the boys off down to the changing room to meet the squad, while the adults continued to relax and chat. When the boys returned I took everyone down to the board room where we enjoyed drinks with Jeff Mostyn & Steve Sly and I was able to take a back seat and watch Jeff do what he does well, schmooze!

Following drinks in the boardroom it was back upstairs to eat. Whilst the adults were impressed with the menu, the kids just wanted chicken nuggets! Fair play to the chef plates of nuggets and chips soon appeared for the kids, complete of course with the all too vital tomato sauce! Us adults enjoyed our starters (A delicious spicy carrot soup in my case!) whilst the 4 boys on our table happily wolfed down their simple meals. Danny had re-appeared with brand new complete kits for the boys, I’m sure he got the biggest smiles of the day! Having eaten the boys all went off to change into their new kits, their excitement about being mascots was wonderful, for them it was to be the highlight of the day and there was relief all round as Danny collected them to take them out. Of course us adults got to enjoy our main course and pudding in peace! (Mushroom risotto and a rather delicious fruit mousse thing!)

It was around then that I really started to feel proud of us as a club and how far we have come in the last couple of years, Mark played at the old DC, his family had never seen the new ground. When I was told that we beat Man Utd in all ways, I was very proud. The restaurant does look fantastic and the quality of the food is brilliant. The staff are to be commended, they were polite and exceedingly professional. We wanted for nothing and they got the balance just right in being attentive without being either in your face or non existence. Huge compliments all round regarding the meal and facilities.

After lunch we took our very nice posh seats and watched the boys walk out with the team. They were full of smiles, which for their mum right now was priceless. At half time we were further spoilt in the restaurant with coffee and cakes.


The family were overwhelmed by the amount of people who stopped by to say hello and welcome them, VP’s, current squad members, board members, ordinary fans. Ray told me they had never felt such warmth and felt thoroughly at home and stated that as an outsider you can feel the club was a family club from top to bottom. He was impressed by the whole set up and said they appreciated that although the club had worked hard to make the day very special for them all whilst also keeping it informal, that had helped them cope with a bittersweet emotional day. Dave was fab on the day, popping back and forth to make sure it was all going well, accessible if I needed help, which certainly settled my nerves as official host.

Eddie kept a very low profile, he was there if needed but stayed very much in the background. He wanted the focus to be firmly on the children, the day was for them. He was embarrassed when answering a knock on his box door to be greeted by a big smiling face and handed some sweets as a thank you & was more interested to hear if the kids had enjoyed themselves than he was in hearing a thank you. Eddie did ask me to make sure that the family got to see the new wall of fame and asked for them to choose a photo of Mark to be placed there. Personally I thought that was a lovely touch, letting the boys choose their favourite picture of their dad for the wall.

That was our next stop, we enjoyed a leisurely walk around the stadium, passed the new wall of fame and then on to have a look at the whole new youth set up in the East stand, the gymnasium, the physio room etc. Listening to an ex players family being so enthusiastic & complimentary over the facilities perhaps made me realise what we do have now and how much we have progressed as well as the fact that perhaps I have not really appreciated what we do have now.

After the tour they all set off back to Wales, tired but full of smiles. It was a hard and no doubt very emotional day for Rhianon. I received excellent feedback from them, they left Dean Court with a very positive view of our club, the facilities, the board, the staff and the fans. Me I was just proud to be a part of this great club of ours. We’ll no doubt have good and bad times in the future but that will be a day I remember for a long time for good reasons. Both Dave and Eddie have told them to come back anytime they like, they will always be welcome, they have told me that they will be back because the day was perfect in every way.

I stated a couple of weeks ago I am not afraid to criticise when I think it necessary while at the same time being equally unafraid to say well done when something is right. Today I feel the latter. Dave in particular put a wonderful day together for Rhi and the boys, Eddie sanctioned it all and should receive his share of the praise. They got it right and I would like to say thank you to them for that. As fans we should be proud that our club treat ex players families with such respect and hold them in as high regard as we do.

On behalf of Ray, Linda, Rhianon, Jacob, Evan and the friends of Dean Court, thank you Eddie and Dave.

The Mark Ovendale Just Giving Appeals are still running. To donate to Cancer Research go here and to donate to Marie Curie Cancer Care go here. Thank you. RIP Mark